last night i pulled out the shotgun shells i keep in the drawer under my bed. i held them looked at them realized they were bird shot light loads. not good enough. went to the garage and got the magnum loads one rifeling slug with 18 grains of powder. that would do it. pulled out the gun. all this time its like walking in a dream i now its wrong but im doing it anyway. forgot i put a triger lock on it would have taken another trip to the garage to get the key. put the gun away and went to bed. is a simple triger lock all that stoped me from blowing the back of my head out??????

i put on a good front im at work i just got off the phone with the repait shop about getting the ac fixed on the wife's car

but insede im shaking and terrified going to my dundgen in my head its smelly damp and safe there
i wrote this all down on paper tink ill giv it to the gf see what she thinks of my story my dreams my
INSANITY