late night thoughts

sat in bed last night watching the wife sleep pondering things like the other night the youngest boy advanced in rank at the boyscouts (about fucking time) but i thought if i had shot myself the other night would he have still gone to collect his badge? how would they deal with the summer boating off roading camping? who would pump out dads holding tanks? no onw wants to pump out someone elses shit. doing projects in the yard and around the house seems like if im not there it would not get done. WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING ALL THAT SHIT WOULD GET DONE JUST DIFFERENTLY AND PROBABLY BETTER WITHOUT ME! FUCKING ASSHOLE CHEATING INSANE BASTARD!