news flash someone has read my pathetic little blog and actually left a comment or 2.

thank you Diane. I know God is out there waithing for me to come back to him.

Just kinda lost in my own hatefull self right now and well thats what alchohaulics and addicts do best. it is f uped though cause i f up all the lives of all who know me. cant seem to do the right thing for all concerned tho. I know i should just drop the gf and stay with the wife. Actually i should just tell them both the truth and face the fact that what happens after that is out of my control. Trouble is as i have said before though im a coward and cant seem to do that. I get a feeling they would both forgive me and take me back and the lies would start all over again. i need Gods help strength and guidence so badly but cant seem to ask for that either. All i see before me is an alcohaul related death somtime in the future. I hope it comes sooner rather than later.
BASTARD