Weird

 My life is so weird now. Just made love that wasn’t weird but I live here now. Have done for over 8 years I still got t urge to get up and go have. But that place is sold the boys have other lives to manage. By all accounts I’m lucky rich and doing well. But! My head and thoughts are still scrambled. Most of the time. I try to block liner thoughts with YouTube and games and Imgur but it dunt always work. 

Am I really just marking time waiting for death? Good question I’m not actually seeking it but am I waiting on it. ?????????