had monday off. thought the day was going to start off shitty when i couldent bust a nut in the wife but it still felt good to bee close to her andall she had a powerful O and we still got up in time to go downtown to the musieum we were planning on with the family it was a real good time. i got away witout thinking of how bad im fucking up my hole life. a little hassle at the begining and i really had to supress the manic side that said fuck it we are going home but i did and it turned out well and all had a good time evven my dad we pushed him in a chair all day so he didnt hafta walk he said he had a good time so i guess he did.
taking the boys off roading tomoro chance of rain but a little mud never hurt.
the gf is working all week so she is buisy and off my case about seeing her.
i keep thinking i have 2 real good things going right now and only can keep one.
wife and kids ?
gf and ??? what what am i searching for with her?
i do know if i leave the wife for the gf i will hate her and resent her for the life i will walk away from
i dont mind the family life so much i kinda hate them too for what???
EITHER WAY i HATE MYSELF FOR THE THINGS i HAVE DONE!
BASTARD