break up letter

You know i love you. I feel i have loved you forever.
Lately i haven't been feeling very well, or at all truth be told. I'm tired stretched thin "like butter scraped over too much toast".
I have realized something and i haven't been able to shake it since ?????
You moved from Rodgers and i have been living with multiple spirols in my head.
Am I your sex toy your handy man your friend
Am I a husband father caregiver
Autoworker
We have been together so long now its like auto pilot just doing no feeling no emotion just gray nothing.
You say i give you your spyke fix like i am a battery charger and you a battery. it is a lot like that only now I'm just drained. I once told you i has enough strength and energy for both of us. I am sorry i was wrong. I'm running out my reservoir all but empty. When it is all gone i will drink. I have no more relapses left. When i drink i will die but drink i will. dieing ever so slowly it is the slowest for of suicide there is. I try and fight the nothing but it takes so much to do so that I'm left with nothing.
I have to go. I have no idea where but i have to be away from... her the boys my dad and you. if i don't i will self destruct and worse you'll be there to see it happen. Be safe my friend.

You are stronger than you think you are. Your gonna be all right Princess you always were

Know that i tried to make it happen tried to be strong enough but I am not.