band tie

put the band tie around my neck last night and pulled it. i had it on the sip side so it didnt really tighten gutless bastard that i am. thought it might ruin christmas for the kids as well. the fear and reality in my eyes is starting to scare me though. like someday the suicide thoughts are gona win.

still fighting this cold lots of zinc lozenges and zicam

did not do the wife couldent didnt even rub one out in the bathroom . fell asleep and woke up gasping for air 3 times last night i think im allergic to the tree as well as the cat

INSANE BASTARD