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im a bastard and i cant spell

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

snapped at the gf to day on the phone she always asks me if im mad at her if there is the slighest hint of irritation in my voice. i guess som of its left over from yesterday when i told her my phone battery was going dead and she said oooooo noo! like it was the end of the fucking world. and i said "come on sweetheart your due in class in less than 5 min anyway and you make it sound like its the end of the world" her reply was the usuall "but i just like being on the phone with you thats all i dont mean to make you feel bad". it does though it adds a lot of pressure to me knowing her world seems to relove around me. she told me she would try and not saythings like that anymore and she would do better. so it starts! things that cant be talked about like in my marrage there are lots and lots of things "we" dont talk about and now in an unconchous way im doing it to my girl friend as well. im not doing it on purpose but slowly ill narrow it down to not having much to talk about at all. I think i need help, but helping myself is the hardest thing i could ever do.
BASTARD

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