suicide

i have an aa birthday comming i soon and i really have the overwhelming urge to kill myself right now. been sober 14 years now. the last 10 have just been dry though cause i have been using aa as the main reason to spend time with the gf.
i know i really dont to off myself cause at lunch time today i avoided an suv running a stop sign that i could have let hit me prolly would have only put me in the hospital anyway.
if i ever get hit on the motorcycle i hope im just blind sided and i go in an instant

INSANE BASTARD