drinking and suicide

every morning i wake up and my first thoughts are will this be the day all my dark secrets are found all my lies all my betrails everything. second thought is drink get drunk forget all i ever was or ever will be. but i really dont want to drink so my mind jumps to suicide. and so it goes day after day.

found out from my sister when she was visiting that when she was young she went to visit mom in the psyke ward because she tryed to kill herself. so not only do i come from a bunch of liers cheats and sneek thievs i come from insane suicidel drunks. (my mom never drank but grandpa sure did) and so did my dad.

INSANE BASTARD