well i've hit a new low i think. i went to the girlefriends house after work yesterday (at her request) and let her eff the s*(&^ outta me. nice a little nap and i was on my way. got back to the house in time for a family dinner before the wife and i were off to a prayer service at church.

went to bed and couldn't sleep for the guilt surprising right? funny thing though i haven't had a suicide thought for a couple of days now. got lots of them today too many to mention but hopefully i'll listen to the thoughts someday soon and it will all be done.

INSANE BASTARD