didnt get killed on the way the other day oviously. i know if it came down to it i would fight for my life if it was reall thretened but i sit and wallo in my pit of despair so much i do not see a way out.

Last night teaching i felt lighter than i have in a long long time unburdened by my troubles for a few hours because i was helping others learn. im good helping i think its how i got in soooo deep with the girlfriend i just wanted to help her with her situation and now she is very dependent on my help and i do not know how to withold "help"

didnt f her last night even though i had a erection while getting out of her bed and she offered. i didnt want to use her for a cum recepicle.

got in bed with the wife later guilt guilt guilt guiltly BASTARD i HATE YOU FOR ALL YOU ARE AND ALL YOU DO!

INSANE BASTARD