this is my life. i feked the gf on friday night not much else. got up sat morn and took the family skiing. nice spring skiing good time. got home and got the wife in bed and had som really nice sex and a little nap. whin i got up there wad a text from my gf she was close by did i want a hug. so i jump on one of my motorcycles and ride out to meet her. we hug in a parking lot for a while and i go back home to eat dinner. after dinner we play a family board game and then we gather in the living room to watch a movie. i rubbed the wifes feet and painted her toe nails green for sst pats day. called the gf when i took a shower to say good night.
fucking
skiing / snowboarding
fucking
motorcycles
hot kissing and petting my lover
good food
happy family life
sounds great right?
its all an act and i tested a door jam the other day where i could prop a knife in and impail myself on it to make it look like an accedent. I just want it all to end and i see no way out. God seems so far away and i have any one of a number of friends i could talk to about anyting. but i just want to curl up and die.
BASTARD