Old friends

 Met up with some guys from 39 years ago. I was so different back then but still the same. I live in a different town now with a different wife and a different life but it’s still very much the same. I have a good life. It’s my head that is misfiring at the moment. 

Where to begin

I showed her son feeling and she laughed  

I talked about it cause I didn’t do it very well and she dismissed it  damm it I’m a shit person who has fooled everyone  

Didn’t fuck cause I was being a li’ll bitch  couple of nights 

I told her several times today I wanted to make love with her and was extra affectionate. She’s like aren’t you sore from working out. Goddammit working out isn’t there for its own sake it’s a thing to do to keep fucking. I almost said fine and rolled over. And so I fucked her she didn’t complain abu that big O. 

This all doesn’t make sense or even matter just marking time waiting on the death. 

The creeping darkness

I’ve got a good life. A wife who adores me and I her. Yet  the darkness is creeping all around. How long can I keep it away? How long until my battery dies?

Old places

 It’s so very strange taking our grandson places I went to as a teenager with dates and friends and even my family. Life is so very different and not what I expected I guess. It’s wonderful don’t get me wrong just different. Kinda emotional as well I suppose the feeling is known as bitter/sweet. Still alive not as dark as sometimes. 

Marking time

 Am I really just marking time until I die?  Fighting the darkness pretty hard today. 

The darkness

The darkness is creeping I can feel it. And like an old friend I’ll welcome it in like a long lost friend. Embrace it even. It holds my guilt my secrets my soul if I have one. 

The demons

 Stole my sleep last night. But I’m still here. Father husband grandpa. I’ll keep moving forward.