boating

took the boat out for probably the last time this season it still wasent really hot but just worm enought to get in the water got up on my wake board a couple of times and did pretty well for an old bastard The youngest boy tryed to get up on skis but couldent quite hold the tips together he tried 5 times which is about 4 more times than i thought he would praised hem for trying so hard. had my dad on board as well getting him on and off the boat was a challenge but he seemed to have a good time. had dinner and relaxed for a bit before pulling out. helped a chick get her jet skis started she needed jumper cables no bigee but it seemed to make her day. the wife thought i was a "nice guy" we all know the truth
promised the neighbor i would replace som trim on her house even as i was saying it i was thinking do not get involved in this it will be more work than u have time for but i said i would help anyway. she has this useless son who is bleeding her for cash feel sorry for her i guess. got the boys a job mowing her lawn for 1/2 the price she was paying another young man who went off to college
tossed off in the garage showered and went to bed slept pretty good fo being such a guilty
BASTARD

toe nail painting

what is it about women wanting painted toe nails? i spend probably 2 hours clipping filing and painting the wife and girlfriends nails. i dont get why they want or like having this done i guess it looks pretty to them i duno. i can understand the creaming and rubbing that stone thing on thier feet in the shower it keeps the calloussus down feels good but i just dont understand the painting. i keep doing it when they ask but i dont know y course i cant fugure out why i have a wife and girlfriend at the same time anyway guess its just cause im a
BASTARD

got our work done for the day my work partner is a hurry up and get it done kind of a guy at least if an engine breaks we can get on it right away
got my old bike back on the road lastnight rode it to work today
goin to the gf house this afternoon why i dont know

no answers comming to my head

BASTARD

gave blood as usuall every 8 weeks of so 40 pint totol it would be more but the red cross declined me when i was drinking so much 10 years ago. was going t gime double reds but the machine broke so i just gave a pine ate 12 oreo cookies and went home worked in the garage for a couple of hours took a shower and cralled in bed. the wife was looking all sexy so i petted her for a while and asked if she wanted to get naked? off came her jammies and she seemed to have a good O but i couldent it was like someone just shut off the switch i didnt go limp but didnt want anymore guilt i guess. slept pretty good tho

BASTARD

was going to go out on the boat lastnight but it clouded up so we called it off

didnt get creamed durring the construction but did have a person pull out into me in a van guess riding experiance pays off cause i was able to swerve out of the way. thought about letting the van hit ME for a split second but fugured with my leathers full face helmet and spine support would prolly just have me walking away and just loose the bike. who knows.
God i give it all to you im not strong enough to "fix" my life i have tryed to leave one or the other or both many times over and over and over and over anf over and over anf over and over and over and over and over and over ..................................................... but cant even figure out how to do it in my head. show me how please i surender

goin t give blood today at least some good can come from my walking around this planet
BASTARD

putting on my leathers getting ready to go home from work i keepthinking maybee it will be everyones lucky day and ill get creemed in the construction traffic
BASTARD

tried to read som of my old posts and boy is my writing and spelling fuked up. this blog is not really up for people to read anyway just to get stuff out of my head i guess

break time at work

at least my job is still intact and 40 hours steady

filled that dumpster 30 yards worth last weekend couldent believe the amount of shit my dad and (mom may she rest in peace) saved
couch cushons from 30 years ago mice had a real nice nest in thoses
beans and pickles caned in 1973
motorcycle parts from when i was a kid
sterio hauled in from the neighbors trash sitting on the back porch for 20 years
matress (stained of course)
2 person swing rotten wood and rusted posts the wife cryed when this went dont know why
old furnace that was heavy
misc junk from the basement
garage stuff wood my dad never would have carved even if he hadent had a stroke
buckets
lamps my dad had a thing for saving broken lamps
gates from a fence taken down 20 year ago
a old tv cabinet (my dad wanted me to save it for the plywood he later said)
cinder blocks here and there all around the propertee
an old yellow chair my brother and i would sit on either side of my mom and she would read us the Sunday funnies. (getting misty here guess i still do have som feeling left someware)
dry rotted laundry racks
didnt even get to the attic

kinda sad that most of a persons life ends up in a dumpster then again we end up in the ground as well just a different kind of land fill

at least my dad is still alive it would be a much sader experience if he were not
went and picked him up at the campground and brought him home he got outa the motorhome and went up the the house while i unhooked his truck and backed it into place leveled it all and hooked up all the water electric cable tv ect.

had a long nap helped with dinner and then u guessed it off to the gf house. think it was a record she had me naked and inside her in less than 2 min couldent bust a nut tho wonder why prolly cauyse deep down i am a fucking
BASTARD

the boys had a ball canoeing got rained out (first time in 20 years) but we shot guns and road quads and ditrbikes for the day ate a lot of red meat and drank a lot of soda pop. last year i let the boys have as much soda as they wanted and they both got sick. this time they didnt drink nearly as much maybee the same will hold true for alcohaul when they get ahold of it. helped one guy build a dear blind. went crawdad fishing around midnight the youngest boy finally stayed awake and came along. he said i made it look easy. kind of a proud moment for me. we ate our fill of them the next morning. as we were making preperations to go boating on sunday my buddy backed his truck(wife's truck actually) into a tree fucked it up pretty bad how he did it i really dont know but at least me and the boys had nothing to do with it. that kinda put the brakes on the fun meeter butr we went to the lake anyway caust we all smelled ripe of bo sunscreen and bugspray. it was kinda cold we we got off the h2o before the rain came and it rained all the way home. spent the rest of the week unloading stuff drying tents and washing things. all in all a good time with my boys the kinda trip they will always remember fondly.

rented a dumpster for my dads house going there with my brother this weekend to toss things out . dad and my wife keep talking about having an estate sale fuck most of the shis is barely in good enough to give the the salvation army let alone sell it anteeks not withstanding but they are not going to be sold anyway and my brother and i have already goten most of his woodworking tools already in ours respective garages. spent last night setting his radial arm and bandsaw and sanding platform up in my garage. I hate working with wood everything hasta be spinning at 6billion rpm and shit flying everyware. but at least if dad wants somthing cut i can do it for him he wont but at least he knows its there and i "could"

wife was glad to see us when we got home and had a nice dinner cooked i wasent very hungry but i sat with everybody durring dinner and told stories of the weekend.

did call the gf a couple of times but if she didnt get the idea it was just an obligitory call she missing out on som searious scarcasim.

i teach tonight with the gf going to see her after work then teaching boy is my life back to fucked up in a hurry
BASTARD

taking the boys on an anual guy trip this weekend camping off roading with quads dirtbikes 4x4's boats fishing a crawdad boil canoeing kayacks guns fireworks campfires chopping wood lighting farts on fire (yes it really can be done) lots of meat eating its all good fun in a cabin so far in the woods you could run around all day naked shooting off guns and no one would care or even hear you.
im still a bastard but at least i can show my boys a good time while my marriage is still intact. 21 years tomorow.

BASTARD