gall stones gall bladder

had a bad flare up last night the wife even took me to the emergency but as i walked in my gut went bloorp and i was more or less ok. still not 100% this morning but much better
EVIL ROTTEN BASTARD

still a bastard

did the gf last night after my Dr appt. kind of weird going to get a physical and thinking about suicide at the same time. i just want to breathe better. he gave me some advar. today i have a lot of congestion coming up easily but no coughing.
called my brother about his trip. compared to mine to his my dad is doing better.
did not eff the wife yet
tossed off again after doing the gf w t f is wrong with me?
FUCKING INSANE BASTARD

My dad looks so frail now he still has a good grip but he can't even get outta bed before shitting himself. Do I pray for him does God care or is it necessary to follow the natural laws in place forever. In that case he should be dead already. Guess I should just enjoy the extra time medical science has secured for him. I've made piece with him staying or going. Heaven or just cease to exist can't get my head around either idea anymore. As a catholic I should not have any doubts but I do.
FUCKING INSANE BASTARD

I know I can't pull the strap tight right now but it feels good around my neck snug fitting like a comfortable tshirt. I can't cause of my dad but it's like a security blanket kind of.
FUCKING INSANE BASTARD

Last weekend went to fl dad had heart valve replaced. This weekend he is doing better and is  rehabbing. He doesn't remember me being there but ... Taking his cat back with me. Still effin t gf still a cheating bastard. Shared my band tie secret with a volunteer friend chick after dave c . Guess I won a boot bag and gave it to the one who collected it. Sunshine got pissed cause she wanted it I guess. Sent me a hurtful email writing me off I think. Good thing I think don't need another one after all do I. Still thought I might have had a real friend guess not? I could use a friend though. Still carry a band tie everywhere I go.
FUCKING INSANE BASTARD