22 & 23 August

 Just days going by. My darkness has turned to nothingness. Princess made me a yummy birthday cake and that was very nice. Michael came over and that was nice as well.  Mowed lawns and did a pump. 

21 August

 Grandkids are effin weird. 

Trip home was uneventful. 

20 August

 Grandkids day in New Baltimore. Staying 2 nights. 

19 August

 Preparing for travel to New Baltimore. 

Hate and darkness are so very real. 

18 August

 Preparing to mooch-docking in new Baltimore 

Went to old friends last night for dinner  he’s a blowhard Asshole but aren’t we all at some point. His wife is very sweet. The brats didn’t give me the 💩s like they used to  

I still hate myself but maybe a li’ll bit less today. 

17 August

 Passed the camera at 6:57 am. 

I feel very small and hate myself very much. 

The goal post continues to move. I’m never going to be thin enough look good without a shirt on or treat her good enough for her to be satisfied. Everything just never seems good enough. Probably all in my head but at least I haven’t blown it off yet. 

Pump Pb&j smoothly after. 

16 August

 The dark has grabbed me hard this time I’m trying to find the switch but I can’t seem to. I helped the princess wash the house and drove her to market but I’m in a dark place and hate myself very much right now. 

Saw the Goodyear blimp today.