Thursday

 You were never meant to carry the wave. You were meant to let it move through you, around you. They still knock me down sometimes but I’m just about strong enough to get back up now. And keep moving forward. 

Wednesday

 I FOUND MY KNIFE!! It’s just a pocket knife but it’s the sentiment that goes along with it that tore me up.  There is a lesson to be learned from this ordeal but I’ll probably learn nothing. 

Grandkids day. 

Finding my knife was as emotional as losing it. Like losing a little bit more of her 

Sunday

 Afternoon party in Shelby township. 

Saturday

 Farmers market. 

Took the kayaks out on macaday lake. 

Friday

 Faffed about doing some chores did a yoga in the yard. Did some maintenance on Aerial. Generally feeling good and happy. 

Trouble is I’ve never really believed someone could love me so much. 2 somebody’s actually. I don’t love myself or even like me much of the time. But princess really seems to and that’s enough more than enough   I’ll choose happiness as much as my self loathing will allow. 

Wednesday

 Woke up way too early. There are no waves for the past few days but I feel like a dam is being filled behind me. Like the spillways have been closed and the only release will be catastrophic. That is very negative I know but it’s what it feels like at the moment. 

Grandkids day. Hopefully I can keep myself together. 

The spillways are leaking and the Dam is cracking a bit. 

I managed to pull it all I just switched into grampa mode I guess  Archie is very cute and plays like a regular toddler  Miles on the outside hand hasn’t quite come into his own personally yet  I’m no psychologist but the kid has a lot of phobias a hang ups already.

Anyway it’s a pump day and that’ll feel good  I’ll keep moving forward. Towards what? 

Tuesday

 I think I lost my knife. FUCK!

Sunday

 Pump 

Picked up Miles. Perfect weather. We probably showed her the best time a kid could have. Ice cream,swimming, kayaking and a campfire with hotdogs and s’mores. And two doting grandparents with him. 

I enjoyed the day as well.