Thursday
You were never meant to carry the wave. You were meant to let it move through you, around you. They still knock me down sometimes but I’m just about strong enough to get back up now. And keep moving forward.
You were never meant to carry the wave. You were meant to let it move through you, around you. They still knock me down sometimes but I’m just about strong enough to get back up now. And keep moving forward.
I FOUND MY KNIFE!! It’s just a pocket knife but it’s the sentiment that goes along with it that tore me up. There is a lesson to be learned from this ordeal but I’ll probably learn nothing.
Grandkids day.
Finding my knife was as emotional as losing it. Like losing a little bit more of her
Faffed about doing some chores did a yoga in the yard. Did some maintenance on Aerial. Generally feeling good and happy.
Trouble is I’ve never really believed someone could love me so much. 2 somebody’s actually. I don’t love myself or even like me much of the time. But princess really seems to and that’s enough more than enough I’ll choose happiness as much as my self loathing will allow.
Woke up way too early. There are no waves for the past few days but I feel like a dam is being filled behind me. Like the spillways have been closed and the only release will be catastrophic. That is very negative I know but it’s what it feels like at the moment.
Grandkids day. Hopefully I can keep myself together.
The spillways are leaking and the Dam is cracking a bit.
I managed to pull it all I just switched into grampa mode I guess Archie is very cute and plays like a regular toddler Miles on the outside hand hasn’t quite come into his own personally yet I’m no psychologist but the kid has a lot of phobias a hang ups already.
Anyway it’s a pump day and that’ll feel good I’ll keep moving forward. Towards what?
Pump
Picked up Miles. Perfect weather. We probably showed her the best time a kid could have. Ice cream,swimming, kayaking and a campfire with hotdogs and s’mores. And two doting grandparents with him.
I enjoyed the day as well.
Morning. N. G. L. I’ve verry much landed on my feet with the Princess. She’s very good for me and a. Wonderful woman and wife. I don’t believe I live a charmed life but I do okay. I’m reading a book that’s dredging up old memories of building my house a first engaged to Patty. I made a few mistakes then but only because I was being penny wise and pound foolish. I might get that right someday. Aerial’s water heater bypass fittings. I’m going to try and be the best person and husband and father figure I can be. One day at a time.
Grandkids day. I must admit watching miles act like a typical big brother drives my fucking crazy. Childhood trauma I suppose.
P. S. Princess rode me like a rented Harley last night. Just fucking awesome. I love her so very much.
Pump
worked on the Aerial. I don’t know how people can afford rv’ s if they can’t work on them.
Busy day. Walked a mile for delicious eclairs with chocolate and strawberry filling, good coffee as well. Hammock broke fixed in had an amazing nap. Paddled around the lake in airhead princess on La Bonita. I paddled the sup. For a bit.
Oh and pump.
Took a trip into Sutton bay. Nice town good cheese at a farmers market.
Yoga
Gonna go watch fireworks in Northport for the first time in over 30 years.
Nice sleep. Spent the morning wandering around Northport old memories bubbling up. Walked the beach and chilled by the lighthouse. Going into town for concert in the park.
Moved up to Lelanaw S. P. Drove through northport dredging up memory’s along the way. Just about keeping my shit together.
Great site if a little (okay a lot) wet. And so many effin flys.
Up a little early. Just wondering,what a strange thing to to do. Pack up certain items according to weather reports load them into a special box to live in for a temporary home away from home. I guess or suppose it’s just a throwback to our biological need to wander. Either way it’s wonderful to see new things and places.