the voices

the voices are strong lately

had to drag the fam to the hill

went t 5 pm mass had dinner then took the gf to a diff hill and back to her house but did not fuck her did on sunday night. did the wife earlyer in the day

Hill closed today

INSANE BASTARD

voices in my head

the voices have been quiet for the past couple of days. nice weather rode the big bike couple of days now the weather is shit and rain and snow forcast so im back on the little one. been snowboarding with a woman at the hill she is nice. im trying not to fuck her.

went to bed early last night rubed one out in the bathroom before and slept well.

locked my tool box keys inside it got it them out with a coat hanger and some sitcky velcro.

INSANE BASTARD

well i've hit a new low i think. i went to the girlefriends house after work yesterday (at her request) and let her eff the s*(&^ outta me. nice a little nap and i was on my way. got back to the house in time for a family dinner before the wife and i were off to a prayer service at church.

went to bed and couldn't sleep for the guilt surprising right? funny thing though i haven't had a suicide thought for a couple of days now. got lots of them today too many to mention but hopefully i'll listen to the thoughts someday soon and it will all be done.

INSANE BASTARD

new years resolutions

both the wife and the gf stated in remorkable the same words that they rosolve to have more sex with me in the new year. great i kind of feel like that Dr in the old porn deep throught.

pretended to go to fla to ditch the gf for the week it was just easyer for me that way. all she would have to do is check the phome records and know i never left the state. guess she sees what she wants to see.

got another one on the line at volenteer thing. gona an try not to fuck her

INSANE BASTARD 2012