went on strike this week nothing more nerv racking than going on strike. cut my pay and benifits and all that fuck just keep me working. Im good for nothing else anymore so this is the only job i can do. its skilled trade but not sellable in the real world. did a lot of work at my dads while i was off just to stay buisy and not be at my house. did class by myself last night it went well i'll never be a teacher though. feked the gf after dont know y just did. back to work and back to the insanity now another friday night the gf is going on the rag so maybee i wont havta f her. the wife is just comming off though. I dont wana fuck anywon anymore.
Bastard

panic weekend panic panic panic wife kids girlfriend dad aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
fuck it wanna drink a lot and die
BASTARD

went to the gf house straight from working over time at my job. we walked her dogs she has this real old dog that will only walk with me she says that dogs are a good judge of caricture and that they only like good people. Bullshit dogs like to be petted and talked kind to and feed do that and of course they will love you. kind of like women stroke them the right way talk kind to them and feed them once in a while and well... Anyway she modled these boots she got for me and said she was only keeping one pair. of course watching her strut around in sexy boots naked made me hard and all that so i threw her on the bed with her boots on and feked her a little. we were going out in a bit so i didnt cum but did make her wet wet wet. later that night i had one of the best gasms ever. I think she did too after she twiddled her pus while i played with tit. got up in a little while and went home t the wife who dosent eve wake up anymore when i come home. watched tv till the small hours got biger and now im back at work and tired.

I am such a BASTARD

I love my wife for what she is,
smart
sexy
beautiful
caring
thoughtful
loving

I am such a
BASTARD

have the gf on the phone while im working ot. I hate em both at the moment but here i am with her on the phone. im so tired i just wana sleep forever...
BANG! and it all would be over too bad i dont have a gun........... I do have a motorcycle that will do more than 140 miles per hour.
bad thoughts from a BASTARD

helped teach a class last night. people think im a nice guy even though im a bastard. fuked the gf and went home t the wife.
bastard

dont know why im keeping this blog up I guess its to have a record of what i have done when my brain finally implodes and i cant remember shit. maybee im waithing for comments to verify what a bastard i am? although i dont need anywon else to conferm that. the gf said the other day if she is your wife and im your mistress what does that make you? i said a BASTARD but she blew that off and gave me all that dont put your self down shit.

spent the weekend pretending to be normal foe the gf the wife my dad my kids and all the rest. Im hanging on but i dont know how the gf gave me all that i miss you so much and dont know what i would do without you shit as i was driving back to my house on friday night. i fucked the shit outa her this weekend though friday she sucked me and we fuked, saturday morn we fked, saturday afternoon we feked, as well as sunday night. my dicks kinda soor but she will probably wanna f again t nite.

I lie to the wife about where i am all the time yet she still thinks "im wonderful" her words not mine. she is smart but kinda stupid as well like we were going t my dads on sunday afternoon and take him dinner . Start it in the slow cooker before you go t church and i can finish it at dads house on the grill. we are about to leave and she says i for got to put the roast in the kooker WTF. so i wrapped it in an oven bag and foil and cooked it on the intake manifold of my truck for the 45 min drive to my dads another 45 on the grill and it was very good indeed.

what am i doing with the rest of my life
BASTARD

so im trying to work at my pissy little job and the gf calls I've already been on the phone w her for 3 or 4 hours today and i tell her to hang up cus i need to concentrate and she gets all pissy with i just wanted to be on the phon w u blablabla.. then the wife calls seconds later and wants to know about som bullshit. i called them both back and gushed i love yous to em both i am a sick sick bastard

got the gf back to her house after the airport and she had me naked sucked and fucked panting in less than 45 min. took a little sleep woke up hard sooo fucke her again. no question the sex is great. we had a shower and then i had to go to som school shit after that then home and worked in the yard for a while cus i couldent look at the wife just yet and i new i had to be exhausted to sleep at all. still didnt sleep much though. went to a meeting last night for my volenter shit found out som bad news that made the gf cry. went to her house after and she cryed and told me about her friend who was fuking a married man who had since dumped her she said even now she would take him back. she hinted at the same thing "love you so much i would wait forever for you" how low can bitches self esteem get. Im not anything special to look at and im kinda short and fat. wtf . I treet her nice though bring her flowers cook her breakfast/dinner tell her she is pretty do jobs around her house for her that kinda shit. when she was all cryed out she fucked me and i held her for a while when i went to go i was standing by the bed about to get dressed and she started sucking me. now i hadnt washed just wiped with a towl and i thought grosse cause i knew she would want too kiss me again before i left. I didnt puke on her but it was close when she did stick her toung in my mouth. Just get me the fuck outa here. was what i thought.

got inta bed w the wife and she pushed the cat outa the way and said "mine" put her head on my shoulder and went to sleep. I laid awake the rest of the night.
BASTARD +

been buisy my dad has been in hospital and his house was filled w fleas. cut down som trees so he can park his motor home on my property.

the gf is comming back tday i get her at the port at 1pm. im scared i dont know how to act i dont feel anymore i just go along on cruse control

I do know i am a BASTARD