didnt get a call from the gf last night or this morn. I misser fucking crazy idinit. slept at my dads again last night. tossed off to som bad porn in front of the cat that was wierd. fuck me
BASTard

went to the gf house last night she wasted no time f...ing me we showered and ate dinner and i drove her to the airport. stayed by the gate and gave her lovey eyes till she passed through security she called me as i got to her car to tell me she missed me soooooo much and spent the hour driving listening to her (and the screeming brat and airport pa system) tell me how much she will miss me. so with the gf is safely in another country i can rest for a while right NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING WAY BASTARD. she spent about 20$ calling me this morning. c how much i love you she said. stupid bitch she begged me to keep my phone on so she can call me just to hear my voice and "feel" me. anyway i did find myself singing a tune this morning somthing i have not done for a long time. she is almost always in my ear when im at work so i just keep my mouth shut. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!

my dad is in the hospital after seeing the Dr i went and stayed w him last night I was afraid to go in his house for feer i would find him doa. I was the one who found my mother and i really dont want to find him 2.
BASTARD

the wife and kids had a bday party for me anyway last night got som good and usful presents. worked on the cars putten on new license plates and fixin my boat trailer lights. called the gf to say good night and made it very short and was pissed i could tell but fuck it we are on the phone all day long i can tell her about it tomorro.
its tomoro and she is on the phone nattering away about her trip back home im takin her to the airport t night. 10 days without her i dont know weather to laugh or cry.
BASTARD

took the family camping this past weekend it rained a lot but cleared up intime for my brother and fat bitchy sister in law and there two loud kids to leave we stayed till 8 or so on sunday and had dinner w my dad. missed all the heavy traffic because we left so late only to end up in fucked up detoured concert traffic 2 miles from my house.
yesterday was my birthday. kissed the wife and left for work at my usuall time but went to the gf instead. went t bed to catch a little more sleep 2 hours I had to pee and had a raging hardon so u forced a piss and since i was still hard fucked her to try and get a little after sex sleep. but she got up and well then the day went to shit after that. we were gjoing t a bike trail to ride about an hour away but first i had to fix flat tires on the bikes and then spent over an hour changing a flat tire on the side of I75. then off to the tire store for a new tire. it was past 4 30 when we got back so i grilled som chicken and we ate dinnertook the dogs for a walk showerd sucked and fucked and i went home to the wife. wife was all bubbly cause she got a job offer. couldent sleep wonder why??????
BASTARD

so a co worker of mine died massive heart atack at 46.(lucky bastard) I told the wife i had to go to the funeral home. went to the gf instead I showered we hugged the ate dinner then went to DQ for ice cream (even w a cupon it still cost 5 bucks cant u get a 1/2 gallon for that) anyway she wanted it so we went I made her wear a short skirt and no undies and played with er the hole ride over (to make her feel sexy) we got the goods ate it walked her dogs then went to bed she read to me for a long time it was funny stuff and i thought we were not going to f but next thing i know she is sucking me and trying to toss me off while diddling herself. i played w her nips and she came big time. I didnt and she said she felt bad for not being able to get me off. i had her strike a sex pose and started jerkin and next i know she mounts me. the o was ok but what the fuck is she doing like we arnt going to fuck then we do i cant figure it out. almost got killed on the freeway this morning on the way to work that would do then the insurance would pay because it would be an accident.
BASTARD

Get home last night after working over and stoping to give the gf a hug at school to find a tree leaning against the side of my house. Not just any tree but a tree the wife and i planted on out first aniversary. we planted 2 an apple and a pear the apple never did produce much fruit but it was nice to look at. the wife cryed her eyes out becaust it was our aniversary tree. cant blame her is it like there is only on of us left in our marriage. she has to suspect somthing. anyway we all cut it up and hauled it to the swamp. now it's dead and rotting just like my marriage.
what a BASTARD i am

Just an update on what a bastard I really am. went to c the gf after work last night I did stand up for myself a little yesterday in that i said i was working overtime and when she got all panicky and said WHY i told her i neded the money. Over the years i have turned down thousands of $ in ot just to c her. i go tto her house and did the timid whipped dog thing and she hugged me and I missed you and all that bullshit. I was suprised when she threw me on the bed for hugs with clothes on. we ate dinner and watched a movie another teacher movie it was pretty good I didnt care as long as i didnt hafta talk and heve her look at with those big beautiful lloving eyes. anyway she wanted me to shave so i shave in the shower and she joined me. we were just about dun and i was rinsing off and kneels down and starts sucking me it felt soooooo good i almost came right now . we got out dryed off and went t bed for hugs. she is always saying i dont play with her nips enough so i was while i was kissing her. she broke up apart and said is it alright if we just kiss and hug? Yes sure i said thankful i didnt haft do the nasty and leave her. then she proceds to go down on me again WTF anyway we kiss and hug sommore she starts talking about shit i loose me hard quick and more hugs and i leave.
Got home and fond the wife up so we talked about the kids and mortgage for a bit and then.(here is the reas bastard part) i let fuck the shit outa me she had a nice big O and i came and we cleaned up a but she put her head on my shoulder and went t sleep. of course i couldent wonder y I am such a BASTARD

im fucking going insane one slow step at a time drinking would make it so much faster. in sanity the word it sounds lovely rattling around my fucked up head.
BASTARD

takin the wife to a wedding tnite ditchen the gf for a change. relitaivs and shit i hate em but maybee the food will be good If i treat the wife nice at times like this i usually get laid but im not sure i want to anymore
bastard

got to the gf on tuesday after work she took me to bed as usuall and asked if i was going to make love to her? I said i didnt want to just doink her and run off.but she sucked me hard so i fucked her quick and got the hell outa there. went home and got ready for the neighbors garage sale and other bullshit.
last night i went to the gf house for a while after dinner w the family my stomach was hurting so i told the gf no sex please she read to me for a while and i went home to bed only to wake a lot durring the night w my gut hurting maybee i have an ulser or somthing.
t nite the in laws will be over at least they are not staying this time. my birthday is comming up so maybee som money will pop up

I am such a BASTARD

got away with one more weekend poked the wife on sat morn to get that out of the way kinda of a nothing o for me but the wifey seemed to like it. worked at my dads on sat trimmed trees and did yard work. Cooked us all dinner and hung out my dad is lonly now that his neighbor died. I think i can move him in with me but don know if i can stand him all that much. made a bonfire that night and burned som rotting wood on the side of my house it was nice we rosted hotdogs and hung by the fire. called the gf late that night and treated her like shit and hung up on her. sunday the wife woke late and rushed off t church i stayed home and burned more shit got stung by a bee or 4 . went t the gf house for the eve walked her dogs trimed there nails helped her bath them then mowed her lawn and she proceded to cook me dinner and fuck the shit outa me twice. cant figure it out i treat her like shit them do som nice stuff for her and she "loves me soooo much "
I am suck a bastard!

picken up the gf t nite at the airport hafta pick her dogs first though i might bring them to the port with me so "she can c them sooner" I dont hafta drive as far that way either see what a nice and thouthtful guy i am. Hung pictures and a hideus cllock for the wife last night hung out tossed off that sort of shit. I really dont know how to feel anymore
Iam such a BASTARD

I have the gf on the phone from vacation she misses me sooooo much and all that shit. I wanna break up with her but cant dont no y before she left she told me her last boyfriend found somwon else when she went to visit her dad so she asked me if i would be still with her when she got back. Im picking her up from the airport on friday. its hopeless she probable will want sex in the car and at home guilt guilt guilt ... do i fuck her and then leave her or do i just call her a cab or cheaper yet leave her car at the airport and let her drive herself. i just cant live with myself anymore im numb inside. I fucked my wife guilt guilt guilt...last night after she went out with her girlfriends she always says i shine compaired to other husbands and boyfriends and the sex was even pretty good.

I wanna leave them all and go and drink myself to death.

BASTARD

got the gf off t the airport on thur didnt f her in the morn did her the night before though. she was all lovie and shit. took the rest of the day off t get ready for a conoe trip with my boys and the guys great fun all around the gf called me a few times and left messages cant remember if i talked to her or not. came home late sunday night and said fuck it to work on monday. which was a good thing i guess as it was my wedding aniversary (totally forgot it)the wife was sooooo happy we were together she even opened her legs a bit so i could fuck her. I can't say the sex is great with her anymore sorta routeen but i do get a really good o most times when i doer (somtimes i can feel myself goin limp so i fake it this time it was a good one). spent the rest of the day unloading shit and running errands and fuckin off. t nite ?????